Presence for Trauma Healing: A Moment in Washington, D.C.

Ability to be present in the moment is a life enhancing capacity for many obvious reasons. Not being regretful about the past or anxious about the future leaves us free for more spontaneous, stress-free interactions in the current moment. Presence brings clarity and efficiency, joy and gratitude, meaning and connection. It deepens our relationships and heightens awareness of the unique needs of the moment. Ultimately, we seek presence because it connects us more deeply with life, ourselves, and others, allowing us to live more fully and authentically.

The strongest power of presence is that continuous underlying ability to observe ourselves and our emotions without being overwhelmed or triggered by them. This level of self-awareness allows us to respond rather than react impulsively.

The other day on the streets of Washington, D.C. I experienced an unexpected ‘acute version’ of the power of presence in action, healing an old wound. Seemingly random, my body, heart, and soul were overcome by feelings of overwhelm, terror, helplessness, and abandonment from my childhood. The thought "what if I won't belong where I am going?" served as the trigger.

Well-known abandonment wound cracked open, letting the familiar shrinking, racing heart, weakness of the limbs, and immediate depletion to take over.

But, being physically thousands of miles away from the origin of the trigger, I had quite a clear picture of what was actually true in the moment. This trauma memory, however strong, was from the past. The newness of travelling helped with the presencing.

I could focus on staying in the moment through my senses. That is what I've been practicing for many years now. That is what has slowly healed and integrated the original trauma so that it rarely lifts its head these days. What was significant this time was the heightened quality of presence as difficult emotions washed me over.

I wasn't trying to pay attention to sounds, sights or smells - I just saw and heard and smelled with clarity. I felt as though my consciousness was divided in two parts: one part that was watching the reality in non-judgmental sobriety, and the other half that was observing the pain, bodily sensations, and thoughts of abandonment. I was self-aware enough to acknowledge the power of suffering and self-sufficient enough to accommodate it.

Naturally, I did not choose to have this experience. That’s the whole theme of the healing work. Presence is not a choice. But I have chosen to put lot of hours in to facilitate experiences like this to happen. I have invested in what I experience today in the past. And now both versions, the continuity of awareness and the acuteness of staying, are more readily available to me. I can enjoy the beauty of the plants of whose seeds were sown not so long ago.

I cried and released the tension, I mourned and allowed, and I had a good rest for the rest of the evening. I am smiling contentedly as I write this, remembering that night from my travels and the self-healing ability I possess, holding a great deal of hope and appreciation in me.

Book an Alexander Technique or Nonviolent Communication session with me to be safely guided to these places as I have been guided there by my teachers.