Non-Trying
In the beginning of my AT studies I had quite limited understandings of how I would pass on what I was learning. Although I see my first steps as limited now, back then I still found it exciting to think about habits and awareness. In my mind that’s how it went:
You choose a habit you want to change
You pay attention every time you do the habit and work on not doing it
My understandings also circled around following ideas:
it’s enough to have good will to pay attention and want to change
it’s your own choice to change or not
if you notice your habit, just stop: stopping is the key
now that you’re aware, choose consciously
Today I find the whole topic much more profound and promising, for the reasons of not staying stuck with the difficulties of will; doing something right or wrong; over-efforting or; feeling guilt for not being able to change/achieve/make something happen. Today I’m not causing more harm with the hard work on myself.
However, current way of doing things in 2020’s is quite opposite to Alexander’s non-trying-hard style of thinking. There’s quite a lot around: toughen up, stand your ground, speak up, live fully. State your needs, set up boundaries, make sure you follow through. Uncross your legs, claim your space, open your palms, use big movements, hold a pause instead of rushing to speak. Breathe in deeply, hold your breath. Journal daily, tick off to-do lists, plan every moment of your day.
Something wrong ➜ improvement plan ➜ tension.
Uh! I’m already exhausted of thinking of doing all that. It’s refreshing (and non-stressing) to break the cycle of evaluating my rights and wrongs, trying to achieve new goals and creating more tension while trying. Tension ➜ improvement plan ➜ tension ➜ improvement plan ➜ tension...
Yes, AT is supposedly helping you to stop and choose better, giving you tools for thinking, moving and living more consciously. You’re learning to pick up things from the floor with a straight back because spine is not a joint to bend from the middle. You’re learning that your almost perfect violin practice at home becomes full of mistakes before the judging ears of teacher which has to do with trying too hard. You’re diving deep into the concept of the manner of moving being the same thing as the manner of thinking.
No Need To Change
But the way you achieve improvement is not learning new tricks you didn’t know so far. Yes, we’re complex and we will keep learning forever. But when learning, there’s no need to be in any way different from what you are already. And so I am not asking you to change, do better, speak louder, smile bigger, be mindful, feel feelings, notice habits, examine patterns. No need to be here and now, be grounded and centered. No need to stop, take space, take responsibility, choose wisely, judge less, relax, give up stress.
Because you’re already okay. I can give you the experience of not being judged, corrected or fixed because I believe this is the experience truly needed for anyone. In order to relax, release, change. It allows your bodymind intelligence to take over, to recalibrate the system. Let the Nature initiate the change.
Looking back as a teacher I’m just delighted that my work evolved to be more meaningful than teaching people how to do things right. Suddenly I don’t need to know anymore and this is liberating. I have broken the improvement plan ➜ tension cycle and I myself have benefited most from it. Are you ready to experience non-trying and actually do nothing about your issue for a moment?
